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Zoe Younger

~ Life Changing Journeys, Life changing Love

Zoe Younger

Tag Archives: loss

Apologies for going Missing in Action…

05 Thursday May 2016

Posted by Zoetic Words in LIFE, LOVE, MY BOOKS, SHATTERED, THE WRITERS' LIFE, TORN

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"North and South", books, courage, Elizabeth Gaskell, friends, goals, Irish Australians, John Thornton, LIFE, loss, LOVE, Margaret Hale., Relationships, Richard Armitage, sailing, Survivors, thriver, victim, writing

Retirement crisis concept as a couple of adirondack chairs sinking in the ocean during a thunder storm as a metaphor for financial investment problems for retiring seniors who lost their savings or broken dreams symbol.

My humble apologies for neglecting you, my friends. Life has been all go and not much stop recently. Now, though, it’s time to get back into routine.

My work on “Shattered” has slowed to a crawl. This is Rosaleen’s story, a redemption story. She and Mary from “Torn” were childhood friends and I’m sorry to say that the Rosaleen of “Torn” was not the friend Mary knew back when. She had always wanted more… more money, more things, a higher position in social circles and she thought she had it all, until “Torn”. Now she must start again, from the bottom; and when I say from the bottom I mean much further and she’d have to dig!

I’m sorry to say that Rosaleen died in the first iteration of “Torn”. She died in childbirth. She was swept off the ship en route to Australia. She was left behind in Africa. What I didn’t do to try to kill her off is hardly worth mentioning but – she survived. She always was a survivor. If there is one thing that stands out from counselling, it is that the victims are dead. The fact that one is a live makes one a Survivor. But, don’t be content to merely survive, make sure you go on to thrive.

Survivors are the backbone of my writing. I admire and look up to people who have not just survived but who go on to thrive. Those who pick themselves up by their own bootlaces and head onward and upward.

Who are your inspirational literary thrivers? One who was in part the inspiration for “Torn” was Elizabeth Gaskell’s John Thornton from “North and South”. For those of you who have not read this book or seen the miniseries where Richard Armitage does a very memorable job of playing “Go where you will… the name of John Thornton of Milton is know and respected amongst all men of business…”. From childhood poverty after his father’s suicide he paid his father’s debts AND raised himself and his family to fame not “in England only, but in Europe…” as his mother proudly declares. To be bankrupted himself, lose everything and yet not afraid to begin again.

Of course, beside him he had the resilient Margaret Hale, survivor of much family heartache and tragedy. Surviving and Thriving are always so much better when  you are not alone.

So, I’ve told you mine, now please, tell me about one of your inspirational literary heroes?

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From the archives

24 Tuesday Nov 2015

Posted by Zoetic Words in LIFE, LOVE, POETRY, THE WRITERS' LIFE

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imponderables, LIFE, loss, LOVE, Memory, Relationships

san Valentino sul portatileTrue love

True love what are you? Where are you?
You haunt each day, each think I do
But you’re elusive, out of reach
Beyond a wall I cannot breach
Just when I think that I’ll give up
You slip a sip from your sweet cup
You keep me running, drive me mad
For you’re the love I never had
I catch a glimpse and then you’re gone
But it’s enough to drive me on
You drive me mad what can I do?
I’ve no defences left ‘gainst you.

© Zoe Younger

Another from the depths of the archives

 

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If all the sea ran dry…

10 Tuesday Nov 2015

Posted by Zoetic Words in LIFE, LOVE, POETRY, THE WRITERS' LIFE

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

imponderables, LIFE, loss, LOVE, Love and Friendship, regret, Relationships

Wooded bridge in the port between sunrise.

If all the sea ran dry

Would I still love to go

out to sit upon the beach

near rocks that I love so?

do you believe I

ever would

regret?

(C) Zoe Younger

 

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Communicate

01 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by Zoetic Words in LIFE, LOVE, POETRY, THE WRITERS' LIFE

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loss, LOVE, Memory, Relationships, writing

Retirement crisis concept as a couple of adirondack chairs sinking in the ocean during a thunder storm as a metaphor for financial investment problems for retiring seniors who lost their savings or broken dreams symbol.

The complexities of life are, sometimes, more than I can stand
And I wish that I could work them out just sitting in the sand
The waves relentless on the beach a mellow soothing tone
And noone there to hear my little low frustrated moan
Relationships with people are the hardest things of all
The more you care the easier, I find, it is to fall
To hurt and wound, dishearten and not even know I guess
Until one day you find out that this person’s in a mess
You’ll say, “I never knew, you know. I wish that you would say
Communicate just how you feel – we’d never get this way”
But so often now I know that I do just the same myself
My feelings stay inside me, hidden way back on a shelf
Is there nothing we can do but make a resolution now
A kind of private self communication vow
Make known your hurts and happiness, I’ll listen while you speak
And when you touch on faults of mine I promise I’ll be meek
Our honesty will pay off. There’s just no way it won’t
The close relationship we have will break up if we don’t
So take me in your arms and tell me of the way you feel
In words right from your heart so that I’ll know it’s real
Then our mutual understanding it will warm us every way
And I know our love will grow with each and every passing day.

© Zoe Younger 1980s

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Another from the archive

25 Sunday Oct 2015

Posted by Zoetic Words in LIFE, LOVE, POETRY, THE WRITERS' LIFE

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

broken heart, juvenile poetry, Laugh, live, loss, LOVE

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Laugh and Love and Live

Time is something, so they say that heals almost all things
The heart that feels so crushed and bruised they tell me even sings
And, given time, I’ll find the peace I thought would never come
They say I’ll wonder how I found the time to be so glum
I’ll take a moment to reflect on hours then long ago
When my heart felt oh so heavy and the time passed by so slow
Those things that seemed important will be so far in the past
So then I’ll say that time is winged and flies so very fast
But I thank you for the richness that to my life you did give
And realise that now’s the time to laugh and love and live
To bid old hopes and dreams a very wistful last ‘adieu’
And learn to live my life as if each day it starts anew
I know that I should do it and I sometimes wish I could
But then I wish that my poor heart were made of solid wood
So I couldn’t feel tonight that old and now familiar pain
For my eternal thoughts of you become a bittersweet refrain.

© Zoe Younger

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Home again, home again, jiggidy jig

19 Wednesday Aug 2015

Posted by Zoetic Words in LIFE, LOVE, MY BOOKS, THE WRITERS' LIFE, TORN

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

home again, loss, Mother

SelfieWell, it’s all over bar the shouting. The memorial service for my beautiful mother was held yesterday. It was a beautiful tribute to an amazing woman. Above is a copy of a selfie she took in 1950 with a box brownie in a mirror. Maybe I’m biased but I think she was beautiful, inside and out. She was well loved and will be sorely missed.

So I flew home this afternoon. The good news is that my cough has settled down. Not completely gone but under control. It has been a very busy time so I don’t think it’s properly hit home yet that my Mum has gone. It’s good to be home but I’ve got a lot on over the next few days so I’m hoping to just get through them with my sanity at least partially intact. The first load of washing is almost finished and the suitcase is ready to be packed again. This weekend I’m excited to be going to our annual RWA writers conference, this year being held in conjunction with the Melbourne Writers Festival.

I’ll also be pitching “Torn” to some publishing professionals so think of me on Saturday and Sunday as I take some big steps to becoming a published author, one way or another. It’s crunch time. The big decision looms: whether I can find a traditional publisher or whether I should self-publish. Watch this space. Exciting things are on the way.

Now, I have a pile of mail waiting for me to give my full attention, a suitcase to repack, some bills to pay, preparation for the conference to finish and a bed that is calling my name. I’m so happy I had started my preparation before my month went to hell in a handbag. Can this month turn out to be the worst and the best of the year? You know it might yet prove to be just that!

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Life goes on…

01 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by Zoetic Words in LIFE, LOVE

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Tags

loss, PTSD, Survivor, Survivor Guilt, thriver, victim, Winter

Wooded bridge in the port between sunrise.
The gathering of the clans is behind me and the scattering of same is almost complete. The sun comes up whether we feel ready for it…or not. Life goes on with or without our loved ones. This morning was the first day of winter here “down under”. The slight chill in the air matched my Monday morning mood.

There’s not a lot any one of us can do except get out of bed and put one foot in front of another until the day is done. I don’t know about you but although I’ve lost maybe more than my share of loved ones, I’ve never had the misfortune of losing as many within such a short period as my character Mary in “Torn” and those like her in Ireland in the 1800s.

Losses coming one after another for an extended period can beat one down emotionally. Surviving when others  around you fall victim can also lead to feelings of guilt for having survived or Survivor’s Guilt. Reason and logic might have little to do with such feelings but they are no less painful for it.

Though it may not have been recognised until relatively modern times, that doesn’t mean people before its discovery did not suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Becoming a Thriver under such circumstances can be a nearly impossible task. It takes a special kind of person to live on and prosper without the help available today. How do you think you would go?

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Sunday Sorrow

24 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Zoetic Words in LIFE, LOVE, MY BOOKS, THE WRITERS' LIFE, TORN

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

death, despair, Lillian Darcy, loss, sorrow

Statua di bronzo caduti per la patria, Pisa

When someone you love is gone suddenly, with or without the chance to say goodbye, it takes some time to come to terms with the loss. I’ve tried every day since my last post to find words and failed. Over the last month I’ve had to deal with the loss of two men. Each was very special to me in his own way. One was the loving father I wished I’d had and the other lost only two days ago was the son I never had.

From the depths of despair comes a deeper understanding of how my characters feel, act, and react when they face the tragedy and sorrow I put them through as a writer. Early in my writing career I attended a conference where Lillian Darcy spoke about the value of life experience to a writer’s work and how her success came despite her youth at the time. Wishing I didn’t have quite so much first hand experience is futile.

The understanding of what it’s like to “walk a mile in my shoes” deepens a writer’s characters on the page. I know that as a reader and I hope my readers see it in “Torn”. I trust that Mary and Liam’s feelings on being torn from their homeland and their loved ones, mirrors in some small way my own heart, ripped open by sorrow and loss.

I only hope I can mirror their fortitude and resilience in going after what they want their lives to be in the future, finding happiness after sorrow.

Is it any wonder that writers speak about their books as their children? So much of your own self bleeds into those words on the page.

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