Every day is a new day, a new chance to find happiness. I need to keep telling myself that. Today, I choose my mood to be grateful for what I have, thankful for the love offered to me and hopeful for the future.

Yes, I know. I’m more than a couple of degrees less cheerful than last Moody Monday. But, I have been blessed to know the love of so many family and friends, the kindness of even strangers in a time of loss, and I’ve much to look forward to.

Funerals are times of such heightened and mixed emotions and moods. Sober. Sombre. Sad. Bittersweet. I both dread and look forward to gathering together with those who also knew and loved my nephew, sometime soon.

Writing the funeral in Torn was heart wrenching. There are so many ways of mourning. There’s ‘keening’, the sound of a heart breaking. One dictionary describes it as “a wailing lament for the dead“. How quickly we can, at least publicly, move past keening, to talking about happier times is as individual as every human being.

Today I want to look forward as much as back. As the little ones grow up and become adults, I can remind them of those lost. Where their memories are vague and fading, I can honour those gone by telling stories about them, keeping their memories alive in my heart.